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Baking

new - still working on Stephen's suggestions.BakingBlue-sky baking, I lie blurry eyedfrom dehydration. Gritty sand trapped inmy trunks, and sunblock sweat caked on my skin.An icecube sears my lips, I...

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Re: Baking

Thats a sunny goody. Very sensual and all of it believable.i enjoyed it from start to finish and the irregular rythm worked for me in this

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Re: Baking

Very good specific detail here. I prefered the octave to the sestet: You paint the beach very well: sand, sun-block, swimtrunks. I would try to write out "prod and poke." "Gag" might be a better...

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Re: Baking

Hello Tinkering, thanks for your kind comments! A definite confidence booster for me. Hi Stephen, thanks for the help. I think I see what you mean. Ive worked on a revision trying to create a stronger...

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